shhh.......it's quiet

i 

love the 

morning 

quiet.

i love watching the

sunlight 

sneak 

through

the

tree branches.

i love sitting

in 

my favorite chair, 

sipping on coffee......

...coffee 

that my

wonderful

husband brews 

for me 

every morning.

i love 

the silence 

before the kids

find their way down

the 

stairs

into my warm arms.

                    

i love 

their eyes,face and hair

that introduces them to

me in

a different way

every day, 

that 

not quite awake

look. 

i hope you 

get to enjoy some

quiet 

in your 

day today.

enjoy the 

weekend.

and don't forget to

Check out the Quote of the Day

Beth.

heavy heart.....

                                                                          

...my good friend that I had written about in previous posts, 94 year old mother died this morning. It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.

It brings thoughts to my mind of the death of my Dad and the final days I was graciously allowed to spend with him.It makes me remember how time is so precious and that relationships with our parents, good or bad, has such a strong connection to who we are and what type of person we become.  I know when I was much younger I never wanted to be like my parents, but then as the "teenage know it all" cycle wore off, and I matured, I realized that  it is inevitable that some of their characteristics get carried  over to us. I believe that everyone is a "work in progress", it takes time and  life experiences to mold our individual uniqueness.

As for my good friend, as the sun sets on the life experience that you and your mother have just traveled, it is physically over, but remember your memories are never far from your heart. May your mother be in heaven with your father, her pain gone, her body at rest, her heart at peace and filled with the love of God, and the never ending love for you and your family.  You are always in my prayers. ♥

Rainbows

The day after I came home from Arizona, my oldest daughter came in to see me, her urgent voice, "Mom come out here and see this quick" had me up out of the chair in seconds to find this beautiful sign that greeted us.

        

                   A Rainbow.

What beauty, what a lovely symbol of hope. Too many days are filled with the negative aspects of life...anger, jealousy, fear, hopelessness, why is it that it is easier to be negative than positive. Positivity takes a lot of work, a minute to minute conscience effort, to be nice,pleasant to be thoughtful, kind. On this particular day it was a welcomed site, this rainbow, because I needed to know that there is Hope and this Hope showed up at my door.

Beth

Thoughts of Life.....

So as I sit here and ponder the thoughts of my life after 43 years I wonder what the purpose of my life is truly meant to accomplish, feeling as if I am at the bottom and trying to work my way up, but never succeeding or gaining any ground.  I am reminded of conversations in which people have stated that "your life gets better with age" and that "40 is the new 30, and 50 the new 40 etc.. and that you become more aware of the meaning of life and peace in life as you get older", Well, I wish that whoever those "people" were, they would have handed out a "step by step" guide!!  

But then the other day as...

I was watching an interview with the author, J.K. Rowling, she said something that resonated with me, "Love wins....in the end love wins...when a person dies the love doesn't shut off like a faucet...it stays with us...it is an amazing resilient part of us."  She also said "Love is the most powerful thing of all", and it just hit me...why am I looking for something else, something better, bigger, more profound?? I have it all right in front of me, my husband, who loves me,my faith in God, my children, family, home, health....why do I feel the need to look for more, for some spectacular incident that will supposedly open my eyes to the "meaning of life"?  When the "spectacular incident" has always been right in front of me, right within my reach, it has been here all along...the love and beauty of which I give to others. 

"we touch other peoples lives simply by existing"

It has been a while...

It has been a while since my last blog post...in that time I have not exercised nor have I treated my body well by eating healthy...but today, August 27 is my second day at the gym. Yes, I joined a gym, for the month...and what I found, as I had an hour with a personal trainer, is that I have and do 99% of the exercises she showed me at home. I did them with my old routine before I "fell off the wagon".  So as I was on the treadmill today looking at the women on the elliptical, because there is no other way for me to look, I thought that the view from my home treadmill, my backyard, wasn't such a bad view after all.  It is just that I understand that getting out and going to the gym gives me more gumption to get into a routine and less distractions...but I don't like to stare at people and I am not the type that like to exercise my "elephant" looking body in front of others. So what possessed me to join a gym in the first place....Well this brain of mine works in this other reality...it thinks that in a few months this body will look slimmer and more toned just like the picture that flashed across my brain while thinking it was a great idea to join a gym...but then the real reality is that it will take a lot of sweat and hard work to get it there and I have to seriously have to ask myself, "am I willing to work that hard?"  Why is it so much easier to get fat than it is to get thin? We don't literally sweat when putting a cheese burger into our mouths...but that extra love handle sure pops out quick enough.  

Battle

Why is it that life is such a battle??? For me, being a woman, I battle my children, my weight, my thoughts. I battle the urge to fall a sleep or the urge to wake my self up and stay awake. I even battle in my nightmares...why do I have such crazy nightmares to being with.  I battle time, love, life and my husband. I am tired of battle...I am tired of not having peace. What is with that. 

Holiday Weekend

Ok, well I don't like the weekends so much....let me re-phrase that.....I like weekends because the hubby is home and we can go on family outings or just relax and have family time together, but as far as food and exercise, weekends are hard....I am totaly off my schedule and get side tracked to easy.   

My weekend started on Friday, July 3rd, which was our wedding anniversary...13 years...so all of the kids had sleepovers and my hubby and I went out to dinner and met with friends for drinks after....It was a nice and relaxing night.

Saturday, was a do nothing day, after getting the kids we just hung at home and did nothing...which is rare.....then later that night one of the kiddies was in the fourth of July parade and we attended that then took them to dinner at Olive Garden....which was good..actually too good!!! No exercise that day.   

Then Sunday we cooked out and went to see fireworks, yesterday we had my hubby's family over and leftovers.

I don't know why is it so hard to keep a schedule on the weekends... now I feel extreme yuckness (not a word I know..but my description) because I didn't do well over the weekend....I am trying hard not to beat myself up and just letting go...but sometimes I get these waves that pass over me and the guilty feeling comes back...Why is it so difficult to  stay on track....is it that I don't want it bad enough...because I do.....is it that I let others dictate or guilt me into eating what I know is not healthy for me....or the fact that I go in with the attitude that I can eat anything just in moderation and then talk my self into "one more bite" which ends up to be 20 one more bites????

Tomorrow I will be weight myself..and today I will be food journaling maybe thats the key.

I don't know, I am not an expert, but I am the only one that can truly lose the weight, NO ONE can do it for me I am the only one that can! So it is high time I start Living on the Edge....of My Own Life!