life is way too short...

to allow all the negative stuff to permeate your brain....there is too much awful stuff that goes on in the world, let alone our own communities big or small.


I wish we were  allowed "go backs" you know the one like on your computer...where you can go back to a different date and retrieve information that you lost....


well for this family I would give all my go backs....to allow them to be whole again....Life throws curve balls and this family in particular has had one too many....


my heart breaks for the three children that are left without both parents, and I wish I could go over and scoop them up hold them tight and tell them that everything will be alright....but I can't....I can only pray that God will be there and show them the way through this unbelievable tough time in their lives...


Sometimes we are too caught up in our own lives to notice...we are too caught up with our wants...and the "upgrades" in life that we think we need.....new computers...cell phones...cars...tv's...more money....etc...when, I believe, we should remember to stop and realize what we have right in front of us...family, faith, friends, love...and the ability to utilize these gifts and reach out to people in need. 


We can't take the material items when we go....I believe that our time here on earth is a gift, and we should stop and take the time to realize life isn't about the material things, but about the way in which we can help and treat others, even if its just to listen to a friend that needs to vent. It usually doesn't cost a thing to listen, but it could be priceless to them for your friendship.  

...and a few fitting final words said best by one of my good friends:


 "May our hearts and prayers go out to all those that are hurting, grieving & suffering from heartbreaking sincere loss. May God wrap us in his loving comforting arms to celebrate and live.....to not be overwhelmed with grief and emptiness...May God rest your soul JP, you truly will be hugely missed always."

Warm Sweaters....

especially beautiful recycled creations from The Painted Daisy. Thanks to Beth at "Be yourself...Everyone Else is taken" a blog that I follow, for it was her, with her love of sweaters, that got the whole blog loving and talking about them!!!

I kick myself now, with all the sweaters that I have loved but gotten rid of over the years because of the worn down look and here I could have saved a couple and had my own creation made by Jenny at The Painted Daisy!!! What a beautiful and (I think) unique idea, plus the hand/wrist warmers they are  just "sick"!!(quoting my kids!).

So if you happen to stumble upon my blog ...take a jog over to Beth's blog...she is a very talented photographer and to Jenny's she has such a talent for sweaters and recreating...you won't be sorry for having stopped at either site, in fact you'll be better for it!  Enjoy.

Its been Two months.....

since I picked my word for the year...and in that time I have lost loved ones....a tooth by surgical extraction....had diverticulitis...(now scheduling a colonoscopy...in which I would rather give child birth another go around!!!)UTI infection....more sickness...and loss of  child support from my ex-husband.....so this word

RELEASE....

I keep thinking of my original Jan. 1st post of...

Letting GO and Letting God.....

and trying to breathe and become who I am meant to be.....

makes me think that is this one word.....RELEASE ...is either meant to be very powerful in my life this year and is truly allowing me to RELEASE the old stuff that has lingered in my life a little too long or I am just noticing all the negative stuff that has happened in these 2 months of the year 2011, or maybe it is just that little black cloud hanging over my head...you know the one that lets the rain fall down on your parade???!!.

I believe that Releasing all of the negative is a good thing.... My tooth was ready to come out...a root canal gone bad...my diverticulitis maybe a way to tell me to eat and treat my body healthier...the loved ones lost...well it was just their time to go home to heaven....my ex...well he recently got married and  maybe that's a way for me to un-attach my self from him...I am happily married to a wonderful man...and although the support was a nice perk...that's all it was... it wasn't enough to make a dent...but I felt it was making up for all the years he didn't support his kids.So a day after my sons 21st birthday...he texted me that it was time for his release...

Well it is really time for MY RELEASE... Its time to let go...time to...BREATHE...and BECOME my own self.

Word for 2011

I have picked a word to take me throughout the New Year.... 

RELEASE....

Release....let go and let God take me to where I need to be, which ever directions that may take me.

RELEASE of all the bad memories that keep haunting me...the ones that keep coming back to ponder over and over what I did wrong and nothing right.

RELEASE...of expectations...my own and others.

RELEASE...relax...breathe...live in the moment....enjoy being alive. 

Reverb10 Prompt 31

Prompt: Core story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

I just finished my blog post only to lose it...bummer.....now to start all over again and try to remember what I wrote!!!!


Life throws you some curve balls...maybe losing my post was a sign that new beginnings...such as the  New Year is really a chance to "start over".


My core story has been to find myself...to allow myself to really see who I am.  I just started a book last night titled: The Gift of Imperfection, Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene' Brown, one of the Reverb10 authors.  With this book I am hoping to find some insight and answers on how to do this. 


At one point, a few years ago, I thought that I had to go away in order to find myself. I left my husband and five kids and  drove to Cape Cod by myself to attend a womens retreat conducted by the best selling author, Joan Anderson(A Year By the Sea). I was there for 7 days, 4 of which were the retreat,  I was so in search for that ahh haa moment while there, but I had nada...zero....zip.


Sometimes I think I try to hard to make it happen, sometimes to little...sometimes I think it is probably right in front of me and I am too hyped up to see anything...This year 2011 I am trying something a bit different...besides starting the book above, I have chosen a word for the year to help on my quest to self. I have chosen a word to help my mind and soul realize the real me, to just be comfortable in my body, alive in the moments of my life on a daily basis, and authentic in my words, meanings and gestures. 


I wish to release the past mistakes and memories of their hold, relish in my children and the way they so easily articulate lifes moments, revive my zest for life(whatever that zest may be) and replenish my soul with inspiration.


Thank you Reverb10 and authors for allowing me to dig deep and bring out the best in myself.
Happy New Year 2011 to all and may this year bring you to where you want to be. 
Much Love and Happiness
~Beth 

Reverb10 Prompt 30

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

I would have to say the most memorable gift I received this year was a hug from my good friend Marea.

Her mother just passed away right before Thanksgiving and I had been fortunate enough to walk beside my friend during the difficult months that preceded her mother's death. 

I was able to just be there for her,  a listener to validate all her concerns and fears. When the time came for the funeral mass I was happy to help her with whatever she needed done. 

Then at the mass on my way up to receive communion, she saw me out of the corner of her eye and reached her hand out, pulled me in and gave me this hug....this hug of thanks, a hug of relief, a hug of tears, a hug of friendship and love. 


Something about that simple act of kindness touched my soul.

Reverb10 Prompt 29

Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

I love the thought of being able to escape from my life as a mother and wife...so when my mom and I took a trip to Arizona this year I was elated to "get away" from it all. 

Or so I thought...

I found that I wished I was at home....I had a defining moment while being a few thousand miles away...It hit me like a ton of bricks...as much as I like having my alone time...I will never...thats right never..attend another wedding without my husband again. 

The mind is a fickle beast....because 

before leaving for the trip...my mind filled with all these thoughts of being alone and semi-free to enjoy the trip and sights...but in all reality I wished I was with my husband and children, that they could have traveled on this trip along with me and we could have navigated the the ups and downs, hectic schedule, irritating children(at times) which is what makes the trips memorable. All the chaos that I try to escape is sometimes what defines me as a mother and wife. 

Please don't get me wrong I love my mother and was filled with gratitude to be able to accompany her on this trip...but my husband is my partner and there is no one I would rather share these experiences with.